right by you

Dear Eli and Casey,

It's me, mama.

You're both snuggled in your beds right now snoozing away. Eli with black & white kitty and Mamaw nite-nite. Casey with b (blanket) and your upteen gajillion stuffed animals.

And I long to do right by you.

Long to give you love and freedom.

Listening and laughter.

Nurturing and safety.

Learning and letting go too.

I am hopeful that you grab on to more than just pieces-parts of the above.

I am so very hopeful.

But human, I am.

Humanly flawed and pre-occupied at times.

Impatiently aggravated at the black & white striped shirt I must wear around you two more often than I like.

You both know I am a color girl.

Did I read enough with you today?

Did I show kindness and strength?

Did joy fill our home or did dissension leave us disgruntled?

I'm a juggler.

Home is work for me too.

High energy.

Task oriented and scattered all in one.

Am I juggling you two with well being?

I am hopeful.

But human, I am.

Have I mentioned I adore you?

Your cuddles.

Your charisma.

Your dreams for life.

I never dreamt I would be so genuinely enthralled to read about differences in the scarab beetle and the stag beetle as I was tonight.

And that's because of you.

And so perhaps to do 'right by you' is a stretch.

A dream I want for reality.

A prayer of possibility and perseverance.

But right by you, I will do my best to be.

Down the hall when you need to come find me and your daddy in the middle of the night.

Beside you when you are just about to try something new.

Ahead of you watching for danger.

Behind you in your passion and dreams.

Believing in you and the wonderful men God has planned for you to be.

Humanly hopeful.

human

hopeful

{your mama is}

Love you boys,

Mama :)