Tuesday, April 28, 2009

G.I. Gnomes and The Diamond Cupcake Attack


Not long ago in a quaint little community nestled on the rooftop of a nearby Sewanee mountain, there was a teacher. She was rich in love with her job. Full of enthusiasm, well versed in classroom management, a near expert at organization and transitional strategies.

Yet, she lacked one thing.

Spontaneity in her 7-4 hour routine. Yes, Mrs. Casey was quite content with procedures and marking things as complete in her plan book.


Luckily for her, 2 very charming and exceedingly handsome gnomes along with their uber attractive, crafty, and quick witted fairy princess mother sensed the monotony of Mrs. Casey's regimen.

With no haste, this fairy princess mother and her 2 gnomes began planning what would become the most well thought out sidebar slaughter to Mrs. Casey's day.

Sewanee Elementary would feel the repercussions of their sheer celebrational joy when they were through.

This gnome just knew if he worked his cute and charming, not to mention sweetandlittle angle once the shock and awe of this jubilee jolt had worn away, he would, no doubt, have a mini white board in his hand and an endless supply of fresh-out-the-pack white markers.

And this quite-the-curious gnome had his eyes on performing his own skillful acts once he took the pry bar to the padlock of regularity in Mrs. Casey's room.

Yes, he would leave his mark. He had plans for his name to be forever tattooed on the day the clock of this classroom stopped.


Quick as sprites only much cuter, these 2 gnomes took inventory of their surprise attack ammunition.

paint--check
pot--check
real cute hands--check
surprise flower seeds--check
super creative fairy princess mother with a crafting plan--check


Operation Diamond Cupcake was in full prep mode...

Gnome 1: "Hurry up and get the dirt in the pot. We have not much time!"


Gnome 1 again: "Faster! Here, I'll help you. I am quick at this."
Gnome 2: "Sut-up! [mumbled aggressively under his breath] (That would be his version of "shut up".)
Fairy princess mother: "Boys. [insert stern low voice here} You...finger pointed at gnome 1...stop bossing. And you...finger pointed as gnome 2...stop saying that word. That's not a word we say in our fairy princess/gnome/really hunky handsome ogre home.
Narrator: "Fairy princess mother would like to let the audience know at this time that "Shut up" is really not a word used by members of this magical family contrary to the language used by gnome 2. She would like to interject here only to blame it on the rated G movie, Toy Story where this word is used twice as well as other unmagical words like, "idiot" and "stupid."


Gnome 2: "Bubba, don't forget the secret seeds!"

Ah yes, the secret seeds. Hearty, vibrant, and beautiful for bouquets. Sure to put a smile on any one's face as their colors are glorious and textures superb.

Narrator: Fairy princess mother would like to add that she feels the secret seeds along with the hand prints on the flower pot pushed this ammunition gift from loaded gun to heat sinking missile if you were to ask her.


Like hands of an angel, fairy princess mother made this gift grenade and had another tiny oozie package ready to be disengaged on Mrs. Casey's battlefield of structure and sticktothecourse.

Tank loaded and en route to battle, Gnome 1 talked the entire time, Gnome 2 slept as he was allowed to bring what means more to him than air, his "B" {blanket}, and Fairy Princess Mother sang at the top of her lungs and danced while driving all while attempting to converse with Mr. Chatty Kathy in the back.

Mission status: on the premises.

Target in view.
Gnome 1, Gnome 2, and FPM scale the wall to make the attack more dramatic.

Then...ready, aim, fire!

Mrs. Casey was hesitant at first, unsure of who was charging towards her only to break cadence in her routine.

Perplexed, she froze...

Then...

HUGE HUGS blasted her all around! She gushed smiles and full on squeezes as torpedoes of kisses rained down.


The missile and oozie were brought in.
Oozie first...wait for it, wait for it, NOW!!!
Knocked backwards, Mrs. Casey was completely blown away with the explosion of this gift and its aftermath.

Sparks flying, fire broke out in her classroom. Panicked and full of dismay, all children rushed to help their battered teacher relinquish the flames!


As the battle raged on, Gnome 1, Gnome 2, and Fairy Princess Mother were whippin' some major teacher tail. The classroom was evacuated and forced outside where torture equipment was placed on Mrs. Casey's head as Gnome 1 and Gnome 2 struggled to keep their prisoner in line.


The territory was almost destroyed. In the battle of math class vs. mayhem, mayhem was contemplating waving their victory flag.

The army of 3 decided for one final blow.

The heat sinking missile.
The macdaddy demolition crew.
The au revoir and peace out.

Key around her neck, like the commander of a naval submarine, fairy princess mother set detonation in motion...
POW! BAM! KABLOOEY! CRASH!


And Mrs. Casey and her regimen for higher learning was K-O'd.

All by the hands of an angel {with extremely dirty hair}...





Moral of the story:

A) You can plan, but your plans might just be 'bout to change!
B) Best to eat the handmade cream cheese icing with "diamond" sprinkles as diamonds are your birthstone when you're born in April.
C) Happy Birthday, Aunt Kim! We love you!
D) Thematic gifts revolving around a cupcake theme that include jewelry are to-die-for.
E) Handmade not Hand Grenades.
F) Who in the world mixes G.I. Joes in a fairytale setting??? A girly mother of 2 boys, that's who!!
G) Wash your stinkin' hair, Fairy Princess Mother!

.mac :)

6 comments:

Ruby Red Slippers said...

i LOVE how you told this story...So great!!!
Love the cupcakes-want one in NOV. :)

April said...

You're just the best storyteller! Keeps me coming back for more! Those cupcakes look DELISH! My birthday's in August...hint, hint! :)

daisyeyes said...

can you send me one of those cupcakes? seriously those look divine and what a sweet surprise!

Anonymous said...

super fairy aunt kim says thank you gnomes and fairy mother:) you made my day and you just keep making my life even brighter! I love you guys!

Kacey R. said...

I love this story. What a wonderful thing to be a faiy princess with two sweet gnomes spreading love & joy to others. ;D

And BTW, we LOVE Sewanee. Brian takes the boys biking their all of the time and we always crash Shannanigans. YUM!!!!!

Anonymous said...

[url=http://sopriventontes.net/][img]http://tonoviergates.net/img-add/euro2.jpg[/img][/url]
[b]elementary educational software, [url=http://sopriventontes.net/]free quick search gui for office 2003 files[/url]
[url=http://tonoviergates.net/]microsoft office 2003 key generator[/url] student software sale adobe photography software
price for software [url=http://sopriventontes.net/]www macromedia com software flashplayer[/url] 4 Pro Mac
[url=http://tonoviergates.net/]sales software[/url] adobe photoshop cs4 torrents
[url=http://tonoviergates.net/]online store software[/url] Adobe Macromedia Anti-Virus
oem software package [url=http://tonoviergates.net/]where to buy used software[/url][/b]

Related Posts Widget for Blogs by LinkWithin

k.Mac Visitors