Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Neck Zits

Where do you come from?
Puberty was like 17 years ago,
Umm, get that...
That would be the CLUE phone ringing loud and clear!

All swollen and pouty,
You pepper my neck,
With your own heartbeats pounding,
I push on you, what the heck!

I mean you get on my nerves!
You're ugly; you're killin' me!
Your frequent unannounced visits are unwelcome.
Simply put, I'm 33. I should be zit free!

Birthing children does take its toll.

Boobs that sag,
Hair texture changes,
Saggy skin,
The clothes in your closet and all their size ranges.

So zits, you perplex me.
I can't figure it out.
Are you here for the after childbirth party?
Or are you just joining me pre-middle age...
You know, to show me what that bash is all about?

I DO NOT appreciate your hard to pop places.
Under the ear lobe just ain't cool.
Oooh, me trying to "gettoyou" with all my contorted mirror faces!

And you can't just barge in by yourself,
No, that just won't do.
Gotta bring at least 2 or 3 friends,
You and your crop of buddies, that's right, don't you?

Well, be it age or the joys of post baby births.
My concealer never matches that neck skin of mine.
So go on, get out of here, I want you NO MORE.
A clear sans orangy-brown spotted neck would suit me just fine!

[photo gladly withheld from this post for your personal benefit.]

Bring on the wrinkles. Anything but neck zits~

.mac :(


April said...

Hmmm...wrinkles vs. neck zits? That's a toss up in my book! :) Your poem was hilarious...thanks for the smile!

Anonymous said...

it could be worse...you could have a bunch of old lady neck moles with hairs sticking out ;)

pam said...

I need to send zits that memo over here as well! Only mine seem to appear right on the tip of my nose and always when I need to go somewhere.

Stella Blue said...

Agreed! What kind of scam did we sign up for to have wrinkles and zits at the same time. I look like
a full fledge puberty stricken boy. I'm afraid if I came to your door, you may mistake my face as a large pepperoni pizza order! Everyday I'm battling the acne........not cool, not cool. I've one loving up on my neck right now too! Sure I seek to feel empathy for the kiddos at the middle school everyday, but does my face and neck really have to relate too!

Ruby Red Slippers said...

I am with you on the zits-what gives?!
I have more as an adult than as a teen...this stinks, but at least I am already hitched...so we laugh together about:
grey hair,
neck zits,
and the stray chin hairs (That is just so unfair!)

Nicole said...

i swear to you...I just came from my bathroom mirror trying to reach a neck zit!!! I was talking to it in the mirror saying..."where did you come from?? You are trying to be difficult placing yourself all the way over there, are you???" Awww...the joys. And I have no post-baby to blame it on...DANG IT! :)

Tiaras & Tantrums said...

I never had acne until after my children were born and I hit 40 - it's so bizarre and frustrating. I now see a Derm and am using this stuff that sort of works. But that is after one year of trying different products.

Kacey R. said...

You crack me up. I'll be printig this and repeating it like a mantra in hopes my little friends hear your message. What is the deal? It's like I need a skincare line for zits AND wrinkles! NOT cool. ;D

I know we've done this but I've had it in my head all day:

Don't be fooled by these rocks that I got....

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