{look}

Details grab your attention.  Whether you are inclined to volitionally notice the finite or not, particulars have a way of altering your outlook with an experience more deep and defined.  I always think of a doctor's office when I muster up my mindset on the affect of the detail.  Apprehensive and unsettled are most visits to the doctor.  Anticipating news be it good or bad, uncovering health issues and/or settling on treatment plans are all potentials in the repertoire of one said visit.  You make your entrance.  Check the furniture and the walls.  Is it sterile and outdated?  Do you notice onetwothousand many artificial plants from circa 1984? You know the kind with the mauve tipped leaves?  Or, do you find it a space filled with warm tones, updated decor and local art adorning the walls?    How about the lighting?  Is it inyourfaceflorescence? Now the people.  Yes, most definitely the people.  Check them.  How do they greet you?  Does the front desk lady have the face of a wrinkled prune like she has a permanent sour candy lodged in her corner jaw?  Is she welcoming and call you by name with a smile?  Does she ignore the incoming phone call to field your immediate insurance questions?  She should.  I hope that she does.  What about the nurses?  Do they bark orders and lack tact when asking you to shed clothing that you not dare release in front of anyone except your spouse?  What about your doctor?  Does he listen to you with his eyes on yours?  Does he interrupt what you are saying?  Is he constantly writing while you talk?  Does he find time to explain the course of treatment or consider your body and that it is yours not his?

Yes, details count.

And, I wanted to take the month of May to look for those details in my life.  Yes, the wrinkled prune receptionist and the nurse who knows my boys' favorite sucker flavors too.

So, let's begin this visit, shall we?

For those just joining, go here to catch up on just what exactly I am doing each month.  You can also go here to read about my word for 2012.  And, finally, here to read about my weekly accounts of defining this word in my life.

Ensemble statistics:

shirt:

The Limited brand
Goodwill $2.29 {1/2 off weekend}

• I swooned when my hand filed through the rack and my finger tips happened upon this piece.  For those of you who know me, you can only imagine my intense delight and how it was displayed.  My fingers immediately began caressing the beaded shoulder cuffs.  Like a hungry hawk, I carefully combed over for any missing beadwork.  It's Goodwill.  The graveyard of all beadwork gone bad.
• This blouse was in perfect shape. Not a bead missing.
• It's killer navy. Killer.  Navy is so very the trend right now.  All kinda classic and such a great shade to pair with just about any color on the wheel.  And, my personal favorite?  It's not black.
• The scoop drape neckline.  Can I have a moment of silence, please?  Thank you.  I could potentially pen an entire book on the value of a good swoop neckline blouse.  Whether you are small chested or well endowed upstairs, the swoop neckline is of value, people.  Value I say.  It provides instacharacter if you ask me.  It's like a dramatic screenplay with all the internal swells of steamy details but completely written for the PG audience.  It is classic.
• Nice lint on the chestal area, Meg.  Good cameras don't miss out on the details.
• This shirt is the perfect length.  Stopping just before the hind end.
• The fabric.  Another moment please.   Thank you.  It is the absolute perfect stretchy cotton material.  Good brands use good fabrics.  {insert plug for k.Mac here}.  This fabric snuggles your bodice yet gives you the feeling of freedom too.  I love that this blouse can be worn in its full length stretch or pulled up for bunchy blousing too.  Either way the shirt rocks.  I love purchasing a clothing item that is versatile in wear.

A shout out to Eli G. Cobble photography on this next image.  He has requested that I start adding in some photos he takes without my directing.  I feel all kinds of Farrah Fawcett from Charlie's Angels in this unscripted shot.  See what I mean about the drape neckline?

Pants:

• Ann Taylor brand
• Goodwill $2.24 {1/2 off weekend}
• These are a white denim jean.
• They have a straight leg.  Not skinny jean nor the flare leg look.
• I really enjoy the length.  Being 5'9", I long ago let go of the "I have to have just the right pant length for flats and heels" and embraced the "I will pretend I am in style even if, in fact, I am not" with regard to pant length.  I realize the luck I have struck with having a frame that isn't considered either TALL or SHORT.  
• I have worn these pants with ballet flats as well as sandal wedges and booties.  I have refrained from the super tall heel of platform nature as that may just be a stretch in the "I will pretend I am in style even if, in fact, I am not" department.  Some things are just wrong.  It's best to know them and act accordingly.
• Filigree silver threading floral design on the left side pant line edge and the right pocket.  BRILLIANCE, Ann Taylor.  
• This one-up detail masterfully accomplishes the art of unique. {insert k.Mac plug here} 

1. It sets these pants apart from the typical white pant. 
2. It provides instacharacter.

Shoes:

• A gift from my sister-in-law, a.k.a. the shoe goddess, Melissa.
• These are a light gray suede with a clever twist design on the side.  This twist design is another feather in the cap of detail.
• When I look down at them on my feet, they look like elf shoes.
• Fortunately, they do not give off that vibe from other angles.
• I wore them back in February documented here.
• I just recently wore them with a pair of white cuffed short-shorts and gold metallic ruffle tank. I opted for a turquoise/coral/pearl/gold chunky necklace and the rhinestone bracelets you see me in with this outfit.  I really liked the eclectic summer vibe I had going on.  Suede booties in summer?  Yep.  Guilty.

Accessories:

belt:

• $.25
• Goodwill {1/2 off weekend}
• A yummy mustard yellow with silver studding all the way around.
• My best friend, Angela June, made a bee line to me with this belt in hand.  She looked at me motioning to the belt in her hand and then dropped it into our joint buggy and said, "It's got you written all over it."
• I love that she knows me even in belts.

Sunglasses:

• $4.00
• Wore them here in January.
• Bought at The Steamer Trunk, a local boutique in my new small town.

Earrings:

• silver circles interlocked and dangling
• I got these in middle school.
• When your own things can be labeled vintage, you have arrived.

Bracelets:

• $5.00
• Dillard's Department Store pre-Thanksgiving sale.
• HUGE rock like rhinestones with a magnetic clasp.
• Get compliments on these all the time.
• The rhinestones have a gray vibe to them which promotes an old world vintage look.

Ring:

• The Laura ring by Premier Jewelry.
• FREE!
• I had a party and received over $400 in free jewelry.  The Laura ring was first up on my wish list.  It totally looks like an heirloom passed down from my grandmother.  It is my go-to right hand ring.
• Jennifer Hudson Rimback was my jewelry party consultant.  She rocks!

Hair:

• FRESH WASHED from the night before. {Can you believe it?  I need a moment here.  Thank you.}
• zero product. {I don't own any.}
• Hot rolled using these.  They are the bomb when it comes to hot rollers. Emily Murphy Fraker's hair totally sold me on this purchase.
• I rolled my hair pieces back as opposed to forward.
• When I took the rollers out, I did nothing but shake my head up and down 2 times and then sideways once.
• Flipped my bangs under with a big round curling iron.

And, there you have it.

Total outfit investment:  $13.78

May 2012

My word:

 My personal word of growth for May 2012 was look.

My mission:

I wanted to take the time to look and pay attention to the details of my life.


My boys:

Find them where they are.



My business:

Look for ways to improve and celebrate.


My husband:

Notice him.


My energy and my time:

See who in your life deserves this.


My God:

Where is He?  Look for Him.



My status:

* * * *
4 out of 5 stars.


My memories:

My boys:

Oftentimes, I want to finagle their personalities too much.  I push them more than I should.  This month I made a point to let them be.  Watch them unfold their passions and look back at what they have learned in our year together in school.  I stopped instructing so much and just let them celebrate their accomplishments.  I watched baseball brothers.  I looked out, let go and found them full in the art of creating and pretend.  I looked on as my sons set their own schedules of play, took care of their own needs with snacks and water bottles filled, and chose their own style for clothes.  Growing up is that sneaky heartbeat of hurt and a whole lotta pride too.

My business:

I watched new clients come in with a smile on my face!  I paid attention to fabrics that made heads turn.  I looked for new ways to hedge success in and progress forward.  I looked at myself too.  I made more sense of my work schedule and reminded myself that working hours are important in an at-home business.  I let the ebbs and flows of my projects meld and tried not to be caught up in the my penciled in deadlines.  I also looked at the routine of project completion and set more solid guidelines for myself.

My husband:

I watched him sleep.  His eyelashes are so long and thick.  He has the most handsome jawline even in rest.  I watched him make me laugh.  I watched him make me mad too. He gets me through and through.   He is so candidly great with the boys. I see him making great things happen in his profession.  He is a hard worker and so very humble.  I see him making more of himself in such great strides.  With all of this in just a month's glance, it makes scheduled work hours in an at-home business, all the more coveted by me.

My energy and my time:

It is meant for the people in my life that are fair and loving.  And, I am so fortunate to have so many I want to give my time and energy to.  For the ones who are not fair and loving, I see you.  It is no longer necessary that my time and energy be given away to people who do not operate with fairness and out of love.  This lesson hurts on many levels.  

My God:

He is there is the tiniest of details.  He seeks my attention there.  Just like the silver threaded filigree floral design, the beaded shoulder cuffs, the mustard yellow belt and the scoop drape neckline, God is that in tune with the finite.  He makes mishaps work out, He turns hurt into hope and resolution, He finds me complacent and pushes me to move.  I watched this month as He placed burdens on my heart only to transform them into outlets for me to act in the way that He would want me to.  He grounds me in humility and then asks me for more of myself to Him.  I have worked to have my eyes fixed on His place in my life this month.

May your doctor's office visits be void of sour candy lodged pruned faces and inyourfaceflorescence; God's all about infusing instacharacter in your life.

Yes, details count.

.mac :)

Hold me.

 "Hold me."  A morning request you demand of me. From tiniest toddles, you have enforced this mandate.  I stop what I am doing and snuggle in.  And, with quickness, you do too.  Your efforts to infantize yourself with extremities curled, while valiant, are no longer successful.  Legs lofty and muscly lean cascade down and we pretend that you're little still. You want as close to me as you can get. You always have.  With breathe wretchedly rank from the past evening's slumber, I breathe it in.  Reminded of the sweet smell that used to be so many years ago.  Your hair is like that of an angel.  It's rumpled edges from the pursuit of slumbering dreams are saturated in chamomile and lavender.  Because, yes.  Your Daddy and I haven't given up our love affair with this memory.  The taller you grow, the darker your locks become.  All except for the edges framing your face.  There, platinum whisps seek out ownership around those Daddy blue eyes.  With all but one speck of Mama green in the right, your eyes tell such great stories.  Serene, sulky or silly, your looks captivate your company.  You have the gift of greatness.  It's almost as if you command them to be.  Looking intently into each set of eyes you meet only to say "Hold me."  Unbeknownst to us all and before long, we are mesmerized by the great space you fill no matter where you are.  Yes, the gift of greatness.  I hold you close and hear your dreams retold.  I often combat the cantankerous when the exclusive time of mama isn't enough for you.  I snuggle and smell and listen for as long as my time will allow.  Trying all the while to stay adept to your impressions upon me, yet I lose myself in you.  The power of greatness does that.  So, I succumb.  Me in my nightgown marveling at the little boy who has my heart and so many others too. I pray often that you find strength in the greatness that God  has intended for your life.  That your story telling and people reaching bring glory to His name.  And, that you seek greatness too.  In others.  In yourself.  In learning.  In love. 

"Hold me."

I will, Casey Face.

And, I'll watch on as others comply to this mandate of yours.

Mama

{week 32}

An East Tennessee Swang

One thing I love about our home is the freedom that lives within.  I enjoy so much the multitude of costumes and story lines that play out inside these 4 walls of us.  There are days when the sun sets and I  never really securely knew what the boys' official clothing was for that given day due to the super hero battles fought, the buried treasure found, or the bad buys behind bars cuffed & stuffed.

Their life back stage in the dressing room preparing to play will be, without a doubt, one of my fondest memories in this little boy season of my life.

They play.  Unbeknownst to the world around them.  Oblivious to the backyard being just a backyard.  Carefree of anything but intense imagination.

And, that imagination can change on a dime too. You see, cowboys need to golf.  Yes, it's imperative that a sheriff and deputy take time to get in a few holes.  

Cowboys work dilligently on a sweet, smooth swing too.

And, when cowboys can't find it?  Well, up here in East Tennessee, we whack the fire {pronounced "far"} out of the ball.  Yes, pound the little dimpled lovie into submission until it ignites into the air.

And, East Tennessee cowboys, do it all with swag too.

You know, like they were born to do this.

All in days work.

Yes, I love this little boy season in my life.

.mac :)

{week 33}

{investment}

Creating is a gift.  I love the way that nothingness can become significance simply from the movement of a mind and the melody of a heart. I adore the passion in believing in what is not yet there but could be.  Creativity is life moving.  It has no rules or guidelines; no parameters to confine; no protocol to kennel.  It is you making your mark with one big twist of emotion and thought.

In teaching the boys, I make it a point to encourage that their time and resources be well invested.  Little to no worksheets or bradded paper plates with glued construction paper triangles only to be thrown away.  We read from content of their passions.  We play mathematical games of strategy and have writing journals to learn how to communicate and tell stories more fluently.  We take walks and get dirty too. And, we paint.  This documented project being their sixth together, they have become quite a team.  

Eli, the eldest, has quite a way as a leader.  He is driven and compassionate, short tempered yet so very thoughtful.  Casey, the younger, is infectious when it comes to learning and expressing.  He is driven and detail oriented too.  Eli began this love story with the Titanic and its enchanted and tragic decline.  And, in no time. Casey was hooked.

We have watched nearly every documentary, read every book possible and studied and stared at pictures until their glossiness is crinkled for the past six months.  Eli even opted for his April 4th birthday celebration to be delayed so that he could honor and remember the 100th anniversary of the Titanic's demise with his birthday family gathering this past April 15th.  He decided this in January of this year.

And, there you have it.  Two brothers passionate and educated about a historical event.  Thus, the creating commences.  I ask that each boy sketch and scale in their journals a full color drawing of  whatever it is we plan to paint.  We talk a lot about lines and curves as well as what "looks right" {i.e. proportion}.  From there, they are ready to begin drawing their joint version on canvas together.  

They do this so very well.  Their first art piece was done when they were 2 and 4 years old.  In pencil sketching together, these 2 know one another's strengths.  I love that they look back to their own journal drawings and talk about lines and edges with one another.

Little details are awesome.

Once their sketch "looks right" to them, they move into the next phase of creating:  paint.

Again, completely as a team and with minimal guidance from me, they select acrylic colors to mix and use.

They have learned quickly that the right tools help tremendously.  How many adults do you know that have yet to learn this simple lesson?

I snap pictures and smile and sometimes re-direct if needed, but these two spend little to no time off-task as this is meaningful to them.  For 6 months, their hearts have held onto this part of history.  Their journals are choc full of their own stories written both fiction and non-fiction about this majestic liner.  Sequences of her timeline to demise  have been drawn over and over again by their little hands.

"Eli, you mix the paint. You have the best eye at seeing what the color should be."

                                                                                                                     Casey Cobble
                                                                                                                                age 5                                                                    

Within two days, the project is finished.  The boys and I celebrate by taking their canvas shopping so they can select just the right frame for their art piece.  I love Eli's deliberate work on the White Star Line flag as well as the crow's nest.  He was adamant that the 4th stack be without smoke as in reality it was just there for aesthetic balance and grandeur.  He learned this by reading all about it.  Casey's touches with the waves were astounding to me.  He kept telling me the water needed texture.  

An investment.  That's what growing is.  It's connecting content with passion.  It's defining yourself as a learner and producing work that means something.  It's not wasting the time that is so precious to us all with hum-drums and hoop jumps.  

Nothingness can become significance simply from the movement of a mind and the melody of a heart.

Life is moving, boys.  Create.

Mama :)

{week 34}

{invited}

Their world is becoming more theirs.  Connected and drawn to the other's next breathe, I watch.  I look on to see little boys growing up.  Mine.  Fast.  Uninhibited. 

20 months-ish apart, these two are best of friends.  Superheros and Army guys on the front porch with race cars and remote controls on the back, they play.  Their back yard is but one adventure after another.   Countless hikes have been caravanned by these two here, numerous 2 v. 2 baseball and football games have been battled, trips to feed and love on our new neighbors have been plenty, cowboy round ups too.  And let me not forget the voyages deep into the seas in pursuit of hidden treasures.

Their world is each other.

The story of their births are recorded and found in picture books.  My mind works diligently to rid cobwebs from around the images of wrinkled skin and tiny newborn feet.  As their mama, my looking glass back is clouded and foggy with their nows.  And, I don't mind.  Well, a little I do.  Swaddles and sweet first giggles and steps have but a designated chapter in their book of life.  Mine too.  And, this chapter was written so many chapters ago.  For the sake of comprehension, I sneak back and re-read it from time to time:  Chapter 1.  But it's hard to re-read when you feel so riveted to keep up with the story line in front of you. 

At 7 and 5 years, their world is filled with so much good.  From the outside peering in, I am so proud to see them create and grow together.  I beam with an inner joy down deep when I hear one proclaim the other as their best friend.  I realize the immediacy of my presence is no longer necessary.  Their independence is in full bloom; their minds are ready to learn of all that is around them. On their own time and with their own agendas.  It is my steadfast hope that their surroundings are rich in content and adventure under our provisions.

And, as my heart wraps around the wonderfully awesome unchartered life my sons have before them, I am here.  I watch closely, guide respectfully and pray fervently that opportunity and time be maximized for good.  

Oh, how I yearn to re-read chapter 1 sometimes though.

Yes, the role of a parent has but an uncanny twist if you ask me.

Two precious lives were invited into my life by a loving God.  My body, mind and heart have been changed forever with this invitation.  And, more and more each day, it feels like I am in the one being invited to watch these little boys grow.

Mine.  Fast.  Uninhibited.

.mac :)

{week 35}