#2 DONE

February 2013 will be held forever in my heart cupped hands.  God moved.  In me.  In my family.  In my boys.  He took these 28 days to shine.  It was a light so harvesty golden that I couldn't help but glean His glory. It was a light so simple & subtle that my eyes had to peer intently with a convicted precision to find it at times too.  And, finally, it was light like a flashlight unveiling the creaky floored attic of my insides.  Shining solely on the cobwebbed corners of my state.  With waft-like waves flailing, my hands had no choice but to physically knock down the evidence of complacency and neglect.  God moved.

My book for February was unofficially chosen by Kenny.  He came to me sometime in January with the idea that we read this book together.  We've never read the same book at the same time.  He had just recently finished In a Pit With a Lion on Snowy Day and wanted more of what Mark Batterson had to say.  I liked the idea of reading the same content at the same time, so I jumped on board.  I jumped on board is an understatement.

I want to speak to you in truth now.  I say you, but I know all too well it's just as much spoken as a resounding reminder for me regarding the cultivation of spirit and just exactly how God-awesome that is when you feel it.  Naysayers, beware.  This is for you too.  I speak it boldly and with a whole hearted conviction for all of us.  The weary.  The misplaced.  The misconstrued. The skeptic. 

I began reading this book when my heart seemed fastened in a dark and clouded place.  Dark like my expressions filed under "h" for honest here.  Clouded like no solutions in sight.  This uninvited guest known as "WTH is happening to me" was present when my red puffy eyes first met the printed text of Mark Batterson.

God infused.  Timely.  Targeted for growth.  Nail on the head.  I heeded these words.  All of them.  I listened & leaned.  I began unraveling the many inconsistencies of me.  

And, it felt so good.  Like fresh colored play dough clean and smooth in my hands, I  began shaping.  Forming new objects of myself.  Shredding away the extraneous scraps that no longer needed attachment.  Re-thinking the design.  Experimenting with the supple smush of second chance.  That's called grace.  

Poignancy personified itself.  In my thinking. In my believing.  In my direction.  In my faith.  To the  weary, the misplaced, the misconstrued and the skeptical naysayers, I experienced a God interested in making me His on a more personal level and for a greater purpose. He came through with a resounding, "I need you. I need your heart, your energy and your gifts for things far more important than being pungently saturated in your puny imperfections of this world."   

This book was a catalysis.  Kenny's simultaneous-book-read request was too.  The church we have consistently been visiting for the past 18 months chimed right in as well.  Coincidence?  No.  Powerful in the presence of the poor in spirit is exactly more like it.  His timing is almighty and undeniable.  Naysayers beware.  Grace knows no bounds.  Hand over your heavy.  Ask and He will absolutely defy your doubts.  My February is proof.  

Currently, I am reading this book as a follow up.  Kenny is taking the challenge right along side me.  I am overwhelmingly humbled and fervently grateful for Kenny's place in all of this.  I needed scooping up.  This isn't the first time.  This man comes through like clockwork.    

My prayer life is changing.  These prayers are specific.  They are abundant and resolute.  If you are on my list, I am giving you over to Him in high detail every.single.day.  

I can't wait to pray.  Did you hear me?  I CAN'T WAIT TO PRAY! It is my most favorite time of the day.  I fill up pages in my journal.  I talk out loud.  I cross off and re-write.  I accessorize my dreams with Him.  

I am seeking His face and His will like never before.  God knows me.  All of me.  And, just in case He doesn't, I am making it a point to tell Him more than I ever have.  In wait for big answers in my story book of requests to Him, I feel clear headed and hopeful.  But most of all, reliant.  I am learning more and more this walk is not meant for easy.  It's meant forever.  Moving with an eternal motive and saturation of His glory in this skin, that's what life is.  

Naysayers, beware. I speak boldly and with a whole hearted conviction for all of us.  The weary.  The misplaced.  The misconstrued. The skeptic. Grace knows no bounds.  Hand over your heavy.  Ask and He will absolutely defy your doubts.  My February is proof.  

.mac :)

#1 DONE.

My goal for 2012 was to read one book a month.  For some, that aspiration may be measured as pitiful on the meter stick of scholarly.  For others, that may be a lofty stretch.  Me?  I didn't read a damn book all of 2012.  Not one.  By now, I am gathering that my regular readers know that this space is meant for honesty not perfectedy.  There just ain't no sense in lying.  

So.  Ahem.  I opted to do what any tail-between-the-legger would do.  I picked my non-reading self up and moved right into 2013 with the exact same goal.  I am aiming to read one book a month for the year of 2013.  I want this space to be utilized not so much as a report card for accountability, but more so cheerfully as a place of celebration.

I read it. Finished it two nights ago.  I decided to take the time to free write words that sprung forth in my mind as I read the book.  I typed them atop the cover you see above.  This book was so smooth to read.  It's content was hard to have pressed into my heart, but I liked that it was there just the same.  I appreciated so much the conviction of Skeeter and Aibileen.  There was something that stuck with me about Celia Foote.  Her naive delusional debutante-like strength made me love the connection with Minny even more.  Minny.  Oh.sweet.Minny.  

• It made me want to write my prayers down like Aiblieen does every night. 
• There are too many Hilly Holbrooks in this world. 
• Mae Mobley may just be the next Skeeter.
• Secret Stories should be told more even today on topics of more love and less hate. 
• The transparency and hateful selfishness of Elizabeth Leefolt is that inner follower in all of us;  forsaking priority and the privilege of love only to keep up with the next trend, hot topic or social whatnot.
• Goodbyes on unfair terms are gut wrenching for the little and the big.
• Hope & courage are Aibileen and Minny.
• Our lacks leave us lousy if we let them; there's a Leroy that lives in us all.

I loved my #1 for 2012 2013.  I'm glad I have given myself another go at the spine cracked side of life.  I am quite certain these characters will make more of me as I peek inside them only to find myself with each turn of the page.

.mac :)